OCT 8, 2022
Throughout the year I’ll have existential crises that make me doubt every decision I’ve ever made. Whether it’s on the way to a meeting, while I wait for the elevator, or right before I fall asleep — the recurring question that comes up is: wtf am I doing? It’s a rhetorical question & I have no idea how to answer.
The reality is, I have some sense of direction of where I’m headed, and how I’m getting there. Most of the anxiety I have about my business doesn’t come from trying to figure out how to do things, but rather deciding on what to do. There’s probably a trillion ways you can build a company; I get overwhelmed thinking I should be doing all of them. Don’t get me wrong, the how is also difficult — but the answers to how questions exist, the trouble is finding them.
This is all new to me.
It’s humbling to learn that being an expert in one domain of your life doesn’t translate into others. You can be totally cool being rejected by the guy you’ve had a crush on, only to completely breakdown when a client dumps you. Both affect the ego, but for one you’ve already built up the muscle to cope.
Whenever I feel like I’ve found stable ground, I learn just a bit more to realize I know a lot less than I thought. It’s a cyclical process of learning, doing, and realizing there’s more to it — there’s always more to it. The struggle comes from fighting to love the process & not the results. The little wins keep me going. A positive comment from a successful investor, engagement on content I thought sucked, or a client referring me to their friends.
I’m sure looking back, I’ll come up with a label for this period to make it make sense. I’ll call it something pseudo-bullshit so I can sell merch.
We’ve been making progress through our process of trial & error. There’s been a slow down in my deal pipeline, it’s a gift and a curse. I’ll probably go leaner with my expenses as we enter the slow season. I made a video about the impending market crash that got some pretty strong feedback, check it out here.
The slowdown however, is letting me focus on the softer side of my business. Things that don’t necessarily translate to $$$ right away but still contribute. For example, I’m learning how to come up with a social media marketing strategy and how I can leverage Google’s SEO tactics to drive more organic traffic to my site. It’s all still very new, but the how gets clearer every day.